Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Too Much Going On

Oh Lord, where do I begin?

Good stuff or not so good stuff?

Not so good followed by the good. Gotta end positive!

I need money to pay for the gas to get to all of my appointments but I can't work. I also am not independently wealthy nor are my parents millionaires. Mom, Dad, if this statement is inaccurate, please feel free to punish me by throwing money at me. So this puts me in a bit of a jam, then this fabulous opportunity to "nanny" for a friend of the family comes along. It's for 12 days while the kids dad is in South America. The kids are 12 and 15 and just need someone to make sure they're up for school and to cook dinner and help with homework. I'd be able to sit/stand/lay when I need to, they don't require me to chase them or bend. I'd have my weekdays free to go to my doctors and I'd be able to be home (their home) to the kids before dinner. I thought it was for a week... today I was told it would be for 12 days! This is a large issue because I have a dog and a bunny. And my Aunt is having surgery. And she has a 2 year old. And her husband travels for work. And my Grandma can't handle all of that herself. Oh, there's one other little detail that was left out... THE KIDS ARE ON SPRING BREAK!!! I have lots of EXTRA doctors appointments that week in addition to all the normal ones I have. That also means I will be dealing with 12 days of not having sleepovers at my boyfriends house. I NEED boyfriend time. He keeps me sane (most of the time). Plus he cooks me food and buys me candy :) Any idea how I'm gonna tackle THAT?! I'm glad I have a meeting with my Psychologist tomorrow. I feel like I'm gonna explode. But on a happy note, I do feel special, honored, respected etc that their Father is comfortable with letting me watch his kids while he's out of the country. I was the only one he wanted. THAT'S trust!

My knee is a hot mess. Duh, we all know that. Well today I was at James's house playing Naughty Bear on Xbox with him and it decided to try and commit suicide. Seriously. I was sitting on a chair, in a normal position, both feet on the floor playing a game and I moved my foot and my knee popped, swelled and after about 30 seconds I couldn't move it. It hurt so bad, I was crying my face off. I felt like a moron. This isn't the first time he's seen me cry from pain, we lived together for a year. He actually witnessed my leg giving out because of the nerve damage in my spine which made me collapse and caused these wonderful tears to begin with. And some of the most excruciating pain that my back is in when it's at it's worst, along with the killer pain I'm in on a daily basis that I try not to complain about. And he's seen my panic attacks. But anyway, this isn't why I felt like a moron. I felt like that because I try so hard to be positive on a daily basis and hide the fact that I am in pain that I feel like I fail at being a good person when something pushes me over the edge. And his mom came home while I was still crying. I couldn't move. I had to have my grandma come and get me because I couldn't drive. I have a standard and it's my left knee so pushing the clutch in would have been impossible. I hate that stupid car. But, positive, it's feeling much better after a pain pill and 6 1/2 hours. Unfortunately I hate pain pills because they make me sick to my stomach and my head all foggy. But they kill the pain.

Yesterday James and I went to Wegmans to grab some veggies to go with dinner and he found Gluten Free CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS! He bought them for me and they were delicious! Thumbs up Glutino! If you are allergic to gluten I suggest giving them a try. And if you work for Glutino I'd love some free stuff for promoting you! Lol.

Well kiddos, I'm off to bed. I can't focus on anything anymore because of this pill. I unfortunately need to try to sleep (hahahaha) or I'm going to be sick.


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